Monday, 17 September 2018

Where do we get the restart button?

Hey.

Aku tak pasti blog ni masih relevan atau tak. Tapi aku akan ke sini setiap kali aku macam lost. Macam melawat sisi gelap yang kau dah kuburkan or maybe tak terkubur sangat cuma it feels good to be here again.

Everytime I feel a bit lost and numb about life, aku akan cuba cari what makes me feel good about myself. Penyakit ni mengada-ngada tau. You lose a lot of energy and need to comfort yourself all the time. Aku saja masuk Goodreads tadi just to check on latest comment. Latest is May 2018. Thanks bro. Not sure why, but honest and sharp criticism always warm my heart. Perasaan dia macam takut nak baca tapi ketagih. Macam bukan kau mintak pun orang review panjang-panjang, plus you're nobody but people spent their time to write a long and genuine comments about you. Pray for you. Best sial.

Partner aku selalu cakap yang aku patut tulis buku lagi walaupun tulis buku kat Malaysia ni won't make you a millionaire. I'd say, menulis boleh. Tapi aku tak tahu mana nak mula. Aku berseni dalam keadaan keterpaksaan. Kalau benda tak menguntungkan aku tak boleh make a living, buang masa. I guess seni tulis dan politik sama je. You'll be the puppet, kapitalis menang, penonton sorak.

Bertanya pasal benda apa yang paling aku pernah menyesal buat seumur hidup? I would definitely say tulis buku. You opened up too much to people and people still being judgmental. Fuck that shit.

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