Video: Meel Lao Photo: Afnan Omar Dress: Ezzati Amira Suit: Tuan Syed Make up: Leen Zakaria
Terima kasih Januari, untuk segala rasa sebahagia ini. Couldn't ask for more, Alhamdulillah it has been a great start for my 2014. Hectic, I have to admit that good times fly fast. Should've spend more time on cyber to share the crucial moment, last minute preparations, unexpected accidents and many more but couldn't find any specific time to do so as I just started my internship.
Juggling too many things at once, at my own risk.
I flipped the table, I took the challenge.
"Setiap hari adalah risiko"
Separuh dari azam 2014 aku telah tunaikan, aku janji akan cari masa untuk kongsi semua rasa, benda, segala yang aku hutang di laman ini, untuk setiap kita yang melintasi setiap hidup masing masing. Terima kasih lagi sekali untuk yang selalu doakan dari kecik sampai sebesar ini. Ada masa nanti tulis lagi.
Met on MySpace, separated for 7 years, met again on Instagram,
decided to get married after 7 days meeting in reality.
I was on the verge on giving up, He kept pulling me back up. All that was given, He could easily take. What a big difference a year can make. The saying "You'll never move on until you let go" made sense when everything fall into place the moment I took the courage to say "No".
Step 2, take care of yourself and become the person who you've always wanted to be. Only God knows how the hell I ripped the waves last year. Step 3, surround yourself with good, positive company. Mine, came in the form of an old, long, lost cyber friend. Did I mention she comes with a package? Wacky university friends, caring adopted brother & sisters, adorable mother, and an old fashion dad. It felt safe to share my time and thoughts with someone I knew since my highschool days even though the last time I contacted her was in 2007. Gave her an "ultimatum" that I could only be close friends with her for the remaining of the year, as I was planning to get married in 2014.
Harsh, I know. But I had no choice as I figured during that time, becoming a husband was the only way forward. Often she asked, "How are you going to get married next year when you're spending most of your time with me?"
Evaded the question and i was stuck between 2 options. Asked her for suggestions on any potential wife materials. Or, get to know her, more. I chose the latter.
The tables have turned. I had all the time in the world to finally get to know the girl who I left in 2007. Time was on my side. Allegedly. But i don't want to flirt with time as the past had taught me, "To be in a comfort zone is the most dangerous thing." Finding 1001 reasons why she's not the one. Couldn't find any. She had me when she opened up to me her hopes and dreams. It took me one long drive to Perak for my weekly skimboarding session with the boys before I could finally decide that she's the one. Come to think of it, it seems suicidal to have an idea to offer a marriage to someone you just met 6 days ago. I repeat. 6 days.
There's a fine line between rushing things off, and things move too fast. To play it safe, when I arrived KL from Perak, I just told her that "I like you."
She smiled but remained silent. There's a Malay saying that goes, "silence means acceptance." The night continued and was filled with smiles. NLCS was blacked out. And candles were lighted. Awkward right. But with a person that you're most comfortable with, no problem. We were left hanging. Only for me to realise I was in the same situation before, but this time, with different intentions. "Do things for the sake of God." A simple statement that was cemented upon us since our primary school days. Sadly, I was always ignorant. Wasted no time, the 7th day meeting came. Just before I was about to send her off, I popped the "suggestion". Or.. "intention"..
"I want to marry you, take care of you, and spend the rest of my life with you." Cliche? I heard worst. No questions needed. We both cried. She said,"Thank you."We both smiled and I drove off knowing that I'm going to see her the next day with concrete answer. Arrogant eh? Wait.
It took her 2 nights to give a straight answer.
But when she did, it felt like I was on top of the world.
Fast forward 9 months, here I am on my way back from work, buying fresh milk for my wife who is waiting for me with her hugs and kisses. God is great.
Orang kata, some things are better left unsaid. Hidup adalah syurga apabila kita hargai sekecil kecil benda yang neraka asalnya. Kuat manalah pun besi, diketuk tiap hari, tetap bengkok tetap lekuk. Apatah lagi manusia jahil tinggal masa tunggu roboh. Manusia perlu ruang untuk rasa bila diri bukan lagi yang semalam. Ruang, bukan peluang.
At one point I almost giving up.
Niat kita melaksanakan yang wajib. Bukan ke keperluan lebih mengatasi kehendak? Ada dosa yang perlu dialih-kuasanya. Ada tanggung-jawab lagi yang perlu dikerjakan. "When she is a daughter, she opens Jannah for her father". Selalu dengar harapan ayah untuk anaknya. Tak mahu dengar apa harapan anak pada ayahnya? Bila peluang diberi manusia dan bukan lagi Tuhan, betapa sempitnya nak bernafas. Sampai ke akhir garisan harapan, masih tak siapa yang kisah.
Sekecil kecil penghargaan, kasih sayang, doa makbul atau tidak, yang kita tahu memberi jauh lebih mulia dari yang menerima. Ada benda yang menyakitkan kita buat juga dalam gelak tawa canda. Kalau hidup yang aku kongsi, beri erti, besarnya hati kalau dapat aku pulangkan dalam sekecil kecil doa terima kasih. Kalau niat berkongsi disalah erti, cukuplah simpan dan benci. Ribut banjir taufan pun reti berhenti, yang suka tokok tambah bila lagi?
Dah tiba masanya untuk buktikan bukan aku yang betul, tapi kau yang salah.