Sunday, 22 March 2020


‪I wanted to talk about grief. How should I response to a death? Does it need a pinch of sadness? Especially to a blood-related ones but never "showed up"? Should I fake a cry? This, a specific feeling I could not defined has been bugging my head and it is trigerring.

I don't deserve this. I don’t want to be related with anyone who abandoned me with my past, left me alone figuring who am I, but yup of course some of you want to be part of my life when things look “settled”.‬ So how are you when you found me? "So proud of you" because you think you knew me? You can comment how wrong I decided what I want in life because the system broke me, not you? So you can advice me how to ride this life like you do?

They say it takes a village to raise a child, were you in? This is my childhood I am talking about. You don't need to speak on my behalf. You robbed it from me. I was robbed, saved, robbed, saved, robbed again until I feel numb and stopped being a child when I was 9. My childhood is buried the day I parenting myself. The whole village failed me.

You found me here. I was made from a village I did not choose to raise with. I left the “villagers” but they keep coming back for an acknowledgement because they think they know me. If you are one of them, the joke is on you.

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