Thursday 13 July 2017

When some people still wanna talk about my past.

Pernah tak kau sesekali terfikir ke mana masa telah bawa kau dalam hidup? 

I used to be someone who always mind my own dirty business - and the best dirty little secret keeper for others. Rata-rata yang pernah dan masih berkawan dengan aku, mungkin tak tahu yang aku tahu the biggest secret about themselves. Time has past, I got married, having a child, and living my life to the fullest. Not that happy, but way way better than who I used to be.

Ada orang kejar kerjaya dan harta benda dulu. Ada orang kejar nama dan keluarga dulu. Ada orang lebih selesa ada di takuk yang sama dan tak ke mana-mana. Life is an options - you do what you do best. The hardest part in living with some kind of society is - dia kejar nama, kerjaya dan harta benda dulu, she succeed, and started judging people. Just because, orang lain tak pilih "life goals" yang dia pilih. How can this be more pathetic?

I had a friend - so called friend, we used to share the same ex. She is young, beautiful, rich and "famous". We used to hang out in Hartamas Square masa zaman all the famous Myspace kids were around. She grown up to be somebody - I think yes because she worked her ass off to get what she wants. Having a douchebag around as a boyfriend is okay as long as they're famous and 'influence' enough to today's media. I kept their biggest secret until today.

So we met again after years in a friend's wedding. Dari bertanya khabar and what's good about life, dia tegur "Eh muka anak you macam xxxxxx kan" (our ex's name) and laughed. Sembang about the things we shouldn't have discussed. Apa aku patut rasa? Gurauan sempena lama tak jumpa? I don't know if I am over sensitive, but talking about who I used to be with my new companions - suami dan anak mungkin boleh dikategorikan biadap.

I had few friends, who used to joined me in every life event. Things happened, feelings changed, I know people are still talking behind my back even if we always took photos together, they always say nice things on my social media and all. Not all friends are bad, but some are just parasites. Like whenever we met, these kind of people selalu masukkan ayat- ayat - "Alah you kan bohsia" "You kan liar dulu" "You kan ratu sekian sekian" - which I think most of the time when these kind of people started their sarcastic in front of my husband - my old me will just ignore, but the current me will be totally offended. Growing up with these type of friends making me sick in my own zone. Bila aku cuba jarangkan lepak sebab tak nak mengguris perasaan mana-mana pihak - people will judge me again, "Alah, boring gila dah ada anak duduk rumah je. Macam takda life"

To be honest, my husband and son are my life. Not you, anymore.

My point here is - ada orang rasa dia lebih maju dari orang lain dari segi material dan posisi dalam masyarakat. Ada orang ingat, bila pakai barang-barang branded dan berlagak kaya adalah satu kejayaan. Go to hell with your material ideas, at least I can differentiate daun pisang and daun kari, at least I tak pakai fake LV just to show off on social media. Now tell me what do you know about life?

Betul orang kata, masa mendewasakan kita. Some people don't deserve to be in our lives anymore. Ada orang masih tenggelam dengan harta dunia. Betul, siapa yang tak nak kaya. Tapi biarlah kita kaya, berbudi dan bertimbang rasa. Remember, the dark side of me can say anything - anything I want about these selfish people. But I just don't. 



2 comments:

  1. Jenis kawan parasit ni ada je kat mana-mana. Jenis kawan yang menjatuhkan kawan pun ramai. Tak faham situasi kita yang dah bekeluarga ni. Masing-masing dah besar. Gurau, gurau juga. Ayat tu pandai-pandai la susun.

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  2. Ada 1 hadith ni yg basically ceritakan pasal this 1 time, sahabat semua lepak2 & mengenangkan zaman jahiliyyah diorang. Of which, upon hearing it, The Prophet just smile.

    What I'm trying to get is - and I know you knew it, but berhadapan dgn the masses, as long as our Lord is happy, what we can do with the others is just smile - cue doa Nabi di Taif. Pakcik Nabi pun kata dia gila kan?

    Bonus point, I know its's hard (more so even for me myself), tp what you can do to increase goodness for yourself (because you know right that if you make dua for others without them knowing it, the angels are asking the same for you from God), is to make dua from them.

    Them devils pun akan patah hati bila nak hasut org lain ungkit pasal your past sebab turn up you just akan make more dua & undo whatever the hell (pardon mi language) is them devils are gonna do. Haha.

    SHRMZB GDSCML.

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